Forgive me, my thought process sometimes lacks discipline. I have strange ideas. I'm a sort of armchair philosopher turned poet. This is a writer's blog, but I do not publish my finished work here. I post fragments, pieces, ideas; works in progress. I test out ideas that may or may not become more fully realized. I write flash fiction and poetry. I love generic transgression and experimental poetry. I write mostly about art and failed romance. When all else fails, I post things that inspire me.
Friday, November 18, 2016
Never Over, No Resistance
Kissing you is like drinking salt water, the more I drink my thirst increases.
Monday, October 31, 2016
Wait
Wait
Chop, hack, slash; chop, hack, slash; cleaver, boning knife, ax—
not even the clumsiest clod of a butcher could do this so crudely,
time, as do you, dismember me, render me, leave me slop in a pail,
one part of my body a hundred years old, one not even there anymore,
another still riven with idiot vigor, voracious as the youth I was
for whom everything always was going too slowly, too slowly.
It was me then who chopped, slashed, through you, across you,
relished you, gorged on you, slugged your invisible liquor down raw.
Now you're polluted; pulse, clock, calendar taint you, befoul you,
you suck at me, pull at me, barbed wire knots of memory tear me,
my heart hangs, inert, a tag-end of tissue, firing, misfiring,
trying to heave itself back to its other way with you.
But was there ever really any other way with you? When I ran
as though for my life, wasn't I fleeing from you, or for you?
Wasn't I frightened you'd fray, leave me nothing but shreds?
Aren't I still? When I snatch at one of your moments, and clutch it,
a pebble, a planet, isn't it wearing away in my hand as though I,
not you, were the ocean of acid, the corrosive in I which dissolve?
Wait, though, wait: I should tell you too how happy I am,
how I love it so much, all of it, chopping and slashing and all.
Please know I love especially you, how every morning you turn over
the languorous earth, for how would she know otherwise to do dawn,
to do dusk, when all she hears from her speech-creatures is "Wait!"?
We whose anguished wish is that our last word not be "Wait."
When the spent day begins to frail
When the spent day begins to frail
by E. E. Cummings
when the spent day begins to frail
(whose grave already three or two
young stars with spades of silver dig)
by beauty i declare to you
if what i am at one o'clock
to little lips(which have not sinned
in whose displeasure lives a kiss)
kneeling, your frequent mercy begs,
sharply believe me, wholly, well
— did(wisely suddenly into
a dangerous womb of cringing air)
the largest hour push deep his din
of wallowing male(shock beyond shock
blurted) strokes, vibrant with the purr
of echo pouring in a mesh
of following tone: did this and this
spire strike midnight and did occur
bell beyond fiercely spurting bell
a jetted music splashing fresh
upon silence) i without fail
entered became and was these twin
imminent lisping bags of flesh;
became eyes moist lithe shuddering big,
the luminous laughter, and the legs
whereas, at twenty minutes to
one, i am this blueeyed Finn.
emerging from a lovehouse who
buttons his coat against the wind
(whose grave already three or two
young stars with spades of silver dig)
by beauty i declare to you
if what i am at one o'clock
to little lips(which have not sinned
in whose displeasure lives a kiss)
kneeling, your frequent mercy begs,
sharply believe me, wholly, well
— did(wisely suddenly into
a dangerous womb of cringing air)
the largest hour push deep his din
of wallowing male(shock beyond shock
blurted) strokes, vibrant with the purr
of echo pouring in a mesh
of following tone: did this and this
spire strike midnight and did occur
bell beyond fiercely spurting bell
a jetted music splashing fresh
upon silence) i without fail
entered became and was these twin
imminent lisping bags of flesh;
became eyes moist lithe shuddering big,
the luminous laughter, and the legs
whereas, at twenty minutes to
one, i am this blueeyed Finn.
emerging from a lovehouse who
buttons his coat against the wind
Monday, October 17, 2016
And Then This Happened
Heroic physique
Achilles
hidden, terrible
trouble
Swishing & Flashing like a Tiger
The Lady or the...
Embodiment of Glorious Grief
Glorious grief of war
Beautiful, Graceful, Achilles
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright
Burning, burning, but always
hidden, terrible
Grief, Lady, grief.
Grieve in silence,
like a Lady
His word "terrible"
τρομερός Lady
Shame.
Hidden and terrible
Twice born Achilles
Escaped
With the Lady
Or was it the Tiger?
Proud, Predatory, Tiger
Women trouble
Hidden, terrible
Victim, Lady.
Play, Lady.
ωραίος Ένδοξος Ἀχιλλεύς
Sea spawned Achilles
Heroic Achilles, Dangerou
Hidden, terrible, trouble
Survived Lady
Desolate
Achilles
hidden, terrible
trouble
Swishing & Flashing like a Tiger
The Lady or the...
Embodiment of Glorious Grief
Glorious grief of war
Beautiful, Graceful, Achilles
Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright
Burning, burning, but always
hidden, terrible
Grief, Lady, grief.
Grieve in silence,
like a Lady
His word "terrible"
τρομερός Lady
Shame.
Hidden and terrible
Twice born Achilles
Escaped
With the Lady
Or was it the Tiger?
Proud, Predatory, Tiger
Women trouble
Hidden, terrible
Victim, Lady.
Play, Lady.
ωραίος Ένδοξος Ἀχιλλεύς
Sea spawned Achilles
Heroic Achilles, Dangerou
Hidden, terrible, trouble
Survived Lady
Desolate
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
The Lady or the Tiger?
I do not go and seek the youthful and inexperienced, but he comes and
seeks me. When he shows the sincerity that marks the first recourse to
divination, I instruct him. If he apply a second and third time, that is
troublesome, and I do not instruct the troublesome.
Monday, July 25, 2016
Fire & Ice
"Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace.
A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes
all the old things it finds in its path.
No one wants their life
thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under
control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure
that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.
Other
people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a
second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their
problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and
blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric
because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something
unexpected has just ruined everything.
Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?
I don't know."
―
Paulo Coelho,
Eleven Minutes
Friday, July 15, 2016
"the artist is extremely lucky who is presented with the worst possible ordeal which will not actually kill him"
“I have a tiny little secret hope that, after a decent period of silence
and prose, I will find myself in some almost impossible life situation
and will respond to this with outcries of rage, rage and love, such as
the world has never heard before. Like Yeats's great outburst at the end
of his life. This comes out of a feeling that endowment is a very small
part of achievement. I would rate it about fifteen or twenty percent,
Then you have historical luck, personal luck, health, things like that,
then you have hard work, sweat. And you have ambition. The incredible
difference between the achievement of A and the achievement of B is that
B wanted it, so he made all kinds of sacrifices. A could have had it,
but he didn’t give a damn.[...]
But what I was going on to say is that I do strongly feel that among the greatest pieces of luck for high achievement is ordeal. Certain great artists can make out without it, Titian and others, but mostly you need ordeal. My idea is this: the artist is extremely lucky who is presented with the worst possible ordeal which will not actually kill him. At that point, he's in business. Beethoven's deafness, Goya's deafness, Milton's blindness, that kind of thing. And I think that what happens in my poetic work in the future will probably largely depend not on my sitting calmly on my ass as I think, 'Hmm, hmm, a long poem again? Hmm,' but on being knocked in the face, and thrown flat, and given cancer, and all kinds of other things short of senile dementia. At that point, I'm out, but short of that, I don't know. I hope to be nearly crucified,”
― John Berryman
But what I was going on to say is that I do strongly feel that among the greatest pieces of luck for high achievement is ordeal. Certain great artists can make out without it, Titian and others, but mostly you need ordeal. My idea is this: the artist is extremely lucky who is presented with the worst possible ordeal which will not actually kill him. At that point, he's in business. Beethoven's deafness, Goya's deafness, Milton's blindness, that kind of thing. And I think that what happens in my poetic work in the future will probably largely depend not on my sitting calmly on my ass as I think, 'Hmm, hmm, a long poem again? Hmm,' but on being knocked in the face, and thrown flat, and given cancer, and all kinds of other things short of senile dementia. At that point, I'm out, but short of that, I don't know. I hope to be nearly crucified,”
― John Berryman
Labels:
Achievement,
Art,
John Berryman,
Poetry,
Sacrifice
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