#Wantsomeone

#Wantsomeone was a thread I found on the Twitter in which people tweeted the qualities of their dream "someone." Some were quite interesting. Most had to do with friendship, love, and security. Things we all desire, I suppose. So many of us seem to want a lover who is also a best-friend. Reading the tweets provoked some thoughts of my own desired qualities for a potential life-mate. It's complicated though. I think I require a strange balance of intimacy and freedom that few can understand, much less provide. Even with those I've loved deeply, there is this missing element. And the lack of it is terrible. Tortuous. Especially when you're trying desperately to get it from someone who is incapable of giving it to you. I've tried to figure out what that ingredient is, but maybe it's like art (or porn). You can't define it, you only recognize it when you see it. There are qualities you look for and you believe that through some form of complicated alchemy the amalgam of these qualities will somehow result in IT. But the truth is that someone could indeed possess all of the qualities you desire and still lack IT. So what is it?

For me, once upon a time, it was a man with the soul of a poet, the mind of a scientist, and the hands of a sculptor. But I've yet to meet that man. All too frequently I've decided that this is simply a dream. A dream man who doesn't exist outside of my own mind. But try as I might, I can't even properly conjure him there. There is only a blurred glimpse out of the corner of my eye that I think might be it. I've added other more material qualities onto these rather ineffable characteristics, even projected them onto others. To no avail. But here goes, my dream man. The man who embodies my heart's desire: he is a kind of secular humanist, a sort of material vitalist or vital materialist. However, he believes in a soul or at least in the strange ethereal quality we use the word "soul" to denote metaphorically. He must believe in redemption. He must be able to read text. I don't mean that he must be literate, that goes without saying, but he must be able to "read in" even while realizing that all reading is "reading in." He must be a kind of philosopher or of a philosophical mindset. He must love music, art, poetry. The things that make the world, my world, bearable. He must love life. He must be able to "sing the body electric" in a voice that feeds my soul.

Yes, voices are important. I have a thing for voices. He must be a storyteller. He must love storytelling. He must be intellectually curious. He should probably be a scholar, but not necessarily a formal academic. Preferably not a formal academic. He must be strong, but not a brute. He must possess a quiet and gentle strength. He must be unafraid to tell me when I'm wrong. He must be tall. Handsome, but not traditionally so. He needs to have a face with character and a smile that goes all the way to his eyes. His eyes must be blue. I know. I know. But on this I cannot compromise.

He must be a bit controlling, since I am a bit controlling and anyone who doesn't know how to stand his ground is all too easily blown over by me. He must be a man I cannot blow over like a hurricane. Because, truth be told, I can be as difficult and unpredictable as an ocean storm. He must see these traits as positive rather than negative. I am attracted to men who are honest, with a refined sense of integrity. Thinkers, who know how to travel. He must be a student of life, in search of truth, intimacy, humanness. Human, humane, humanity. He must hear the poetry in those words. He must believe in compassion (the most beautiful word in the English language).

Ah well. There it is. A brief description of my dream man. If you find him, send him this way.