Saturday, January 3, 2015

13 Ways of Being Mauled by a Tiger

1. A tiger never changes its stripes. 
2. The stripes camouflage the danger. You can't see until it's too late.
3. The impenetrable eyes: You'll only find yourself staring back.
4. The growl begins as a playful purr. You think it's a game. You're a fool.
5. You don't mind the claws.
6. The chase! The game is fun; the rules keep changing.
7. Tigers love to loll in the sun. You love that too.
8. Water. You think you're safe. Tigers swim.
9. The trees. Tigers climb.
10. Those gleaming teeth, precise, deadly. Tantalizing.
11. The beguiling smile hides the darkest night of your soul.
12. Your desire: Eros. Way too much fucking éros.
13. Death drive: Thanatos. You chose this. You've been warned.

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